Don't feed the tourists

I still feel a little like a tourist here in San Diego, due to my excitement of all the fun things to do here. I am chagrined about the huge amounts of OTHER tourists here though...the beaches are crammed and I haven't even tried Sea World or the zoo.

All the strangers around here have spurred my mischievous side. The following is a devious list I have come up with (just from my ruminations today...I am sure the list will grow) to "play" with the tourists.

1. Take a large quantity of pistachio shells. Dye them purple, pink, or blue (with Kool-Aid, nothing too high tech or the fun would be lost). Scatter them on the beach to excite and then disappoint avid shell collectors (this is just because I myself have mistaken several things for shells, including Styrofoam fragments and drops of bird poop). A potential benefit to this plan if that someone might actually never realize that their beautiful sea shells are actually pistachio shells.

2. Take a position on the beach, facing the water. Shade your eyes and look out to the water excitedly. If you have someone with you, exclaim to one another how cool and playful the dolphins are. There are, of course, no dolphins, but you will attract quite a crowd if you pretend that you see them. An "Emperor's New Clothes" type of situation.

3. Park yourself in a popular area (such as a beach or the zoo parking lot). Act like you are going to leave, with opening and shutting doors, putting things in your trunk, etc. Wait until you have a lurker holding up traffic behind you, camped out for your space. After putting things away, stroll away from your car. Repeat as many times as you like...most people will never catch on.